I hope all you sluts and perverts have a safe and happy New Year’s Eve, and assuming I have enough cash stuffed in my thong to make bail, I’ll see you back in this joint next year.  Kisses!

Kim Kardashian does one thing well. (IDLYITW)

Amy Winehouse is in the hospital.  Again. (LitelySalted)

Brad Pitt at Dave & Buster’s with his sons Maddox and Pax. (Celebitchy)

Heh.  John Mayer has bitch tits. (GB)

Owen Wilson is Kate Hudson’s love crutch. (ASL)

Draco Malfoy is on the beach. (HollywoodRag)

I don’t want to shock you or anything, but it turns out that Tyra Banks is an egomaniacal, superbitch diva. (DListed)

Tracy Morgan has a Motion Lotion emergency. (CelebNewsWire)

Sophie Howard has a top on for once (sort of), but it’s still impossible to focus on anything but her ginormous boobs. (Egotastic)

Jessica Alba is on vacation. (JustJared)

Celebrity gender-bending look-a-likes.  Some of these are astonishing. (CityRag)

Domino’s Pizza does not heart Snooki from “Jersey Shore.” (EvilBeet)

The Jonas Brothers are breaking up. (Allie)

Nicole Richie will guest judge the season premiere of “Project Runway.” (ICYDK)

Here are some awsome shtos of Miranda Kerr drunk on her bday and tearing it up on the dancefloor. See the rest of the hot drunken pictures here.

In some kind of ass-backwards attempt to convince us that Robert Pattinson isn’t smelly and disgusting, Bryce Dallas Howard told New York Magazine that his teeth are so brittle and rotten that they fall apart when string touches them.  From E!:

Apparently, using dental floss can be dangerous. Just ask Robert Pattinson.

The Twilight hunk supposedly chipped his tooth making sure he had healthy gums and could properly deny reports of being stinky, according to Eclipse costar Bryce Dallas Howard.

“Actually, he’s incredibly hygienic,” the actress told New York magazine at the premiere of her latest film, The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond. “He told me this story that made me crack up. He was like, ‘Oh, I have to go to the dentist.’ And I was like, ‘Oh no, what happened? Just a checkup?’ And he was like, ‘No, I chipped a tooth.’ And I was like, ‘How?’ And he was like, ‘Flossing.’”

Before she could be handed an award for storytelling, she admitted, “I don’t even floss. So he’s hygienic. Trust me.”

…um.  Whatever, crazy lady.  Normal people’s teeth don’t fall apart during flossing, so I’m still pretty solidly convinced that Robert Pattinson is gross.  Also, it’s gross that Bryce Dallas Howard doesn’t floss.  Is there anyone from the cast of the Twilight who isn’t gross?  Jesus, it’s like everyone who gets within a square mile of that franchise just gives up on life and starts behaving like a vagrant.

This is Melissa Satta.  She’s one of those naked newscasters in some foreign place, like Italy or Jupiter or something.  She’s also dating some kind of sports-playing person, but I don’t know if it’s an Earthling athlete or a Jupiteranian one.  Anyway, here she is on some beach (possibly on Jupiter) wearing a teeny bikini (the better to show off her clichd groin tattoos, dontcha know).  I’m not really sure why she’s wearing a scarf with a string bikini.  I think it might be a t-shirt tied around her neck.  What do you mean, why?  Maybe she was bitten by a vampire and she’s ashamed of people finding out she’s a sparkletard.  Maybe Jupiter is really cold… but like, only from the shoulders up, because maybe it has a really shallow atmosphere so your body is all warm and stuff but your head and neck are actually hovering in outer space so they’re freezing and shit.  How the hell should I know?  What do I look like, an astronomer?

Here are some pics of some hot amateur teen and her leaked personal pics.

Here are some awesome private pics that have been leaked of 19 year old model Esti Ginzburg. See the rest of the pictures here.

Here are some pics of Victoria Secret model Candice Swanepoel topless for an awesome photoshoot. Any photoshoot that involves topless supermodels is a-ok in my book and pretty much everyone other warm blooded males too I’m sure.

Here is a super awesome compilation of the next best thing since sliced bread…underboobs. See the rest of the pictures here.

Here are some pics of British babe, Sophie Howard showing off her big round mounds in a bikini for Ralph Magazine. It’s New Years Eve and for most people that involves booze, partying and socializing…..I on the other hand am a non-comformist and shall relegate myself to not celebrating, not socializing and drinking myself to sleep well before the clock strikes 12.

 

Morning Whoredom:

The Best Of WTF Pictures Part 2 – Caveman Circus

Celebrities Caught Staring Part 2 – Celebrity Odor

Fat Guy, Frozen Lake, Cannonball FAIL – Ned Hardy

Yulia Voronin is a hot blonde WAG in a bikini – Speed Monkey

Eva Mendes See Through Puffies – Taxi Driver

Tyra Banks Smoking Hot In Max Magazine – Boobie Blog

Get An Eyeful Of Sexy Serb Monika Kis – Dj Mick

Oana Zavoranu makes my holidays very happy – Guyism

Nude Asian Amateur On Vacation – 2 Damn Hot

Car Goes Airborne During Police Chase – Don Chavez

Hot Twitter pictures of Jojo – HQ-Celebrity

Rosaria Cannavo is a WAG to keep an eye on – Epic Carnival

Model Rozmowy Niekontrolowane is stunning in CKM – LAX Time

The best Fail’s of 2009…An Awesome Compilation – Brainless